my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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