I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
only if we run a train.
done.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We are all done wearing pants today
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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