So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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