Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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