normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize