no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
