Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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