why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
