I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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