Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just google imaged poop.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
