My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize