You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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