We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize