Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Screwed.edu
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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