its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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