Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
