So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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