Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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