God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
