I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
