oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
