he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize