i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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