Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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