his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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