On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
