4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
