Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
