Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
