how can u be prego again
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize