Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize