oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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