real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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