Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
