so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize