Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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