I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he fucked my hip out of place.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize