He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
