So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Text me some of your sweat
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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