if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
