Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
