today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
This house was built for laser tag.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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