I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
