did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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