Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
