Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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