Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
