I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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