im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
