so that wasnt chicken after all
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
