8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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