You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
