Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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