Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
