i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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