I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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