Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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