Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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