Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
