I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
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You. Win. At. Life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
