Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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