I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
