The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
