Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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