how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I love having hate sex.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
