We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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