So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
