Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
