I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
