oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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