She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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