Are we in a gay sports bar?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
