do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
